Tag Archives: Nakendra

Ch. 2–Dragon Chase

Standard

Chapter 2—Dragon Chase

16 Years Ago

Lady Adell, a witch from Crested Lake, saw a blue streak of magic flying towards her as she rode through the dark pine tree forest on Keiron, the unicorn.  She was heading towards the Witches Village.  She ducked her head and clutched the basket she was holding tighter.  The magic singed the hairs on the top of her head.  She saw Keiron, whinny, and dip his head up and down.  The tree branches slapped Lady Adell’s body and Keiron’s red circular horn.

A voice cried out above the tops of the trees.  “You won’t get away with this!”

Lady Adell looked above her, and her heart stopped.  The other witch, Nakendra, had caught up with her.

Flying in the air above Lady Adell was a dark red dragon.  He had horns coming out all sides of his head, and spikes running up and down his back.  He was fuming in anger, and belching out huge torrents of fire, scorching the trees and causing forest animals to run in terror from the dragon’s fire.  Nakendra was sitting on top of the dragon.

Nakendra screamed to the dragon, “Get her, Basdev!”  With an evil grin, Basdev gleefully obliged.  He started to dip down between the treetops to get closer to Lady Adell.

Lady Adell saw how close they were getting.  “Faster, Keiron, faster!”  The unicorn tried to speed up, but he found that he was already breathing heavily.  His heart raced with exertion, and his legs were weak from exhaustion.  His white coat was soaked with sweat.

Lady Adell thought she saw one of the tree branches moving, flying through the air to knock the basket out of her hands.

Lady Adell murmured something in the Alvarian language, and the tree branch slammed to the ground.  However, more branches moved by themselves.  Nakendra was making the forest come alive.  She was using the tree branches to get the basket.

“Oh my…” said Lady Adell.  She wondered how her sister was doing it.  Lady Adell had tried to make objects move from far away before, but she never succeeded, despite all her years of practice.  What had happened to her sister?  The last she knew, Nakendra had never been able to do something like this.  It was beyond her range of magical abilities.

The branches moved up around Keiron and Lady Adell.  She heard Nakendra scream in delight.  Lady Adell couldn’t stop all of them.  She hugged the basket to her body, trying desperately to keep the contents within it safe.  If she lost the basket, she didn’t know what would happen.

For the first time in her life, Lady Adell feared her own sister.

It was almost over.  Keiron couldn’t go fast enough.  The branches swung up menacingly, and one of them almost knocked the basket out of her hands.  She tried to swat at them, but they just hit harder.

She saw that one of them had ends like a hand, and that it was shielded by other branches.  They were all coming in at the same time.  The hand branch inched forward through the air, moving closer and closer.  She hit the branches, and found that they smacked her back.

The hand branch curled itself around the basket’s handle as if it had fingers.  The other branches started attacking her, distracting her.

Nakendra had almost won.

Just before the branch pulled the basket out of her hands, Lady Adell heard a large slamming noise above her.  Instantly, the branches fell away back into the forest.  She saw that none of them were attacking again.  Lady Adell wrapped one arm around the basket and grabbed the handle with the other.

Then she looked up and saw a dark grey dragon with spikes on its tail and horns going up its body flying through the air.  It was aiming right for the dark red dragon.  It blew a huge flume of fire at Nakendra, and Basdev dipped down.  The tops of the trees ripped against Basdev’s body, causing him to howl in pain.

It was Razul!  He had come to help her!

Razul blew more fire at Basdev, and the dark red dragon had to fly up into the air to avoid being burned to death.  Nakendra howled in anger at Razul.  “Get away, dragon, before you feel my wrath!”

Razul didn’t listen to her.  He opened his mouth again to let more fire stream out, but Basdev had other plans.  He spiraled down, and his horns were pointed straight at Razul.  Basdev was going to spear Razul in the head.

Razul beat his wings, and flew up into the air in a corkscrew.  His entire body twisted in midair, and his head swirled as he became dizzy.  Razul straightened himself out, but not before Basdev hit him in the foot with his horn.

Razul wailed, feeling his foot burn red hot.  His blood swelled up from the wound and splattered the treetops below.

“Razul!”  Lady Adell screamed in terror.  She had ridden further into the forest, but she could still see the dragons fighting.

“Don’t worry about me!  I’ll be fine!”  Razul saw another stream of fire coming at him, and flew down to avoid it.

“Just keep going!”

Nakendra wasn’t going to continue this.  She shouted at Razul, “If you don’t stop, dragon, I will kill you.  You are not part of this fight.  Just give me Lady Adell, and you will live.”

Razul scoffed at this.  He knew that Nakendra wasn’t going to stop the attack.  “Do you take me for a fool, Witch?  You won’t stop the attack.”

Nakendra beamed with satisfaction.  “I thought not.”  She lifted her arm, and murmured a spell.

Invisiblis weall

Razul felt himself hit an invisible barrier.  His body stopped in midair, and began to fall.  He couldn’t beat his wings.  It was as though he were paralyzed.

“Ha!”  Nakendra cried.  “So much for the great Razul.”

Razul couldn’t defend himself, even when he saw Basdev fly in and hit him against his side.  This time, Razul wasn’t stabbed.  The momentum of Basdev’s body merely caused him to fall more quickly to the ground.

While Razul was still in the air above the trees, he blurredly gazed at the ground to find Lady Adell.  She was nowhere to be found.  Keiron had moved fast, and Lady Adell was long gone.

Razul fell between the trees of the dark pine tree forest.  The tree branches ripped against his body, causing his scales to break and bleed.  He heard birds squawk in protest as he disturbed their home.  Deer trampled along the ground to try and escape his large body.

He landed in the middle of a small river on a pile of sharp rocks, which dug into his body, causing him to bleed even more.

Despite his situation, Razul smiled to himself.  He had accomplished his mission.  Lady Adell was safe, at least for now.  Nakendra hadn’t killed her.

Razul closed his eyes, giving into the sleep his body so demanded after the fight.  He started to rumble, drifting off into a heavy sleep.

© 2013 Amy Burney

Revision Updates

Standard

keep_calm

Well, I’ve gone through my entire story and cut out 8,000 words of description.  That’s right.  Just description.  Before, I had whole blocks of paragraphs where nothing happened.  It was just description.

Now, I still have description, but I weave it into the plot more.  I talk about what the house or the lake looks like as the person sees it, or as the person does something.  I believe that I’ve cut out…what’s that word?  Infodump.  I don’t think I just dump off information into big paragraph blocks.  I’ve worked it in.

Now I’m working on making the dialogue seem more…fantasy-ish.  I’m cutting out modern references and making the dialogue flow better.

I still want to add another chapter in the beginning where Lady Adell traps Nakendra in her sandstone cage to add backstory where it’s needed.  I’m working through comments from people, and tweaking out minor words, phrases, and plot inconsistencies.

I would have to say that the revision process takes just as long as the actual writing.  It can also be a little harder because you’re having to concentrate on problem areas that you as the writer haven’t seen before.  You have to force yourself to look at your own writing with a reader’s eye vs. a writer’s eye.

I’m expecting the story to be done soon.  The cover is almost ready for the release.  I will also be starting a new blog soon devoted to the Evindoore series.

Well…back to more revisions.